“Where have ye been, Jack me lad? I a’beening a lookin’ er *Toung-roll*a–all over for ye! Have ye seen me Fax Machine? Oh, good, me towel’s a’come back!”

Well, I have been quite absent of my blog lately, but not in my life.

My energies have basically been focused on research, especially on trying to correct my AI Theory.
I am currently in the plans of a prototype drastically different from that Rofus.
For one, and since it is after all a prototype, I have decided to not focus on this robot’s communication ability—he won’t be able to talk, but will talk in more computer-like noises—such as beeps and whistles.
This, I believe, will make it harder for him to be negative—although I am not sure.

I already have blueprints for this robot, and, for now; I shall call him Webster, but I am not sure that name will quite “Stick”, although I find it quite fitting for a small robot about 4 feet tall. 🙂

As for his appearance, he should have a digital face, not including a mouth or nose—just large, curious eyes.

In this prototype, I intend to make this robot quite curious, so as to encourage Artificial Intelligence.

I have drawn blueprints for his head, shoulders, torso (not including arms), and I am currently in the process of drawing the 7th version the Artificial Intelligence microchip—The first (for Rofus) blew-up, the second worked but couldn’t think properly/was too slow, the third was a success (well… almost a success—despite the fact that Rofus is a mild pessimist), the fourth (being for Rofus) was yet a failure (I tried to fix his Pessimistic Attitude, but it still didn’t work—in fact, he started blurting-out several errors. Even when I ejected-it and replaced-it with his old one, it took him several weeks to recover), and the fifth (for Webster) still didn’t work.

The 6th almost worked, until it exploded, but I think I know what went wrong—so we’ll see how the 7th goes. 🙂

Aside from trying to make a new AI Robot and correcting Rofus with my assistant, I have been continuing the search for the 3 fabled Time Machine Crystals.
Andrew McCoughingham has returned home, and, of all places; he found a small one in his typewriter!
He didn’t recognize it at first, and almost ate it with his breakfast (by accident, of course)—but, luckily, I was visiting at the time (returning a borrowed-towel, actually) and stopped him.

So there is only one left (the Time Crystals—not the towels)(and since I found the Time Crystal of Cosmos), but I am afraid I currently have no idea where it is…

On a side note, I have published some books—Two, actually—one about the Theory of Time and the other about my adventures.
At the moment, however, they are only available at a small university in Yukon Territory; whose name surpasses me—so you probably won’t be able to get your hands on it for quite some time, I am afraid…
Oh! I almost forgot! So, it turns-out that I know this Professor at this university (whose name also surpasses me… But I really ought to know…) who is interested in my Theories/Adventures.
Anyways, we made a deal—in which he would help publish my book provided I lecture some of his students at the university.
I have to admit I don’t quite want to go, but I am afraid it is the only option I really have at the moment, so I will have to leave the Lab to my assistant, sir Travis Fatherly (I hope I spelled that right), and go to North-Western Canada…

I really must end this at some point, so I will now… 🙂

-Professor Paul H. Madason

Post Script: I am sorry I haven’t blogged in so long! I hope to blog more in the future… Perhaps literally 🙂 ….

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AI Project

After compiling all of the matters of Ethics, Circuitry, Mechanics, and Programme (as the British Call-it—as well as Andre McCoughingham, although he doesn’t seem to totally understand the idea); I decided to undertake the building of an Artificial Intelligence robot.

Turns out, the robot came together quite nicely and didn’t take-up too much time.
The project has worked beyond my wildest dreams… well, almost.

You see, there is one problem: He is Emotionally Unstable.
I don’t know what went wrong—was it the program? The Circuitry? The Wiring?
This robot is about 5 feet tall, and is usually seen wandering-about the house in a depressed manner.
He has a very serious, Pessimistic view on the world, and for this reason I have named him Robot • Of • Fully • Untitled • Sadness (I prefer to call him Rofus).

Perhaps sometime, when I actually have the Time (I am working more on my Time Machine, at the moment), Money, Software, and Parts; I will try to make a new robot—perhaps this time he won’t talk, so as to avoid Negative Feelings, if you follow me.

-“Professor” Paul H. Madason

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The “Time Breaker”

Now that I am in the comfort of my house, my mind is calmer and I can work and think more clearly, if you understand me.

One of the ideas I’ve had for a while is that of a Time Breaker.
A “Timer Breaker” works sort-of like a Circuit-breaker or a fuse—if you change anything (either accidently or intentionally) in the past, it sort-of “Breaks” the time strand and stops it from effecting anything else.
It is sort-of hard to explain in words, but I am beginning to work-on it—I think The Time Breaker will need another, perhaps smaller Time Crystal (in order to “control” the Time Strand).
In a sense, The Time Breaker will be like a miniature Time Machine on it’s own, although I intend to make it as a component on the Time Machine.

-Professor Paul H. Madason

The Great Helicopter Trek

Continued from last entry…

Once we reached the settlement (thank goodness the inhabitants were civilized), we immediately began searching for Andre McCoughingham.
Our first search was in vain, so we decided to split-up and look for him, planning to meet-up at a cheap fast-food restaurant toward the center of the village.

I decided to head north for a bit, until I found an sort-of Irish/Scottish style restaurant, if you follow me.
I figured this would be the place where Andre would hang-out.
So I went-in and began searching for him.

I looked all over the place, but I couldn’t seem to find him ANYWHERE!
Just as I was about to give-up, I asked some older gentlemen—Henry Johnson, Vexorge (I didn’t catch his last name) and someone else whose name I didn’t catch—if he had seen someone like Andre McCoughingham before.
They hadn’t seen him… recently. However, they said that they had heard of someone like Andre wandering-around the village only a day or two ago.
The Waiter (his name was Bob) confirmed this, saying that he actually just ate here scarce 4 hours ago for breakfast (he had the number #14, evidently).
This excited me, but then the men asked me to please stay for a while, as they were curious about me.
As I was curious about them, this worked-out well—so I decided to sit down (I’m not sure why, but Bob decided to sit down, too).
They asked me if I had heard of a recent Space Shuttle flight called the Triple Orange Butterscotch Clean Awesome Space Shuttle Flight Whose Name We Are Still Working On.
I said I had, though it launched only a month or two ago.
They said that they were the members of the flight!
I asked them how, regarding the fact that each member on board was in their early twenties, besides Henry, who was 30.
Then things got really interesting: They said that they had lived through 20 Years in only about 1 month.
About here Henry looked-around for a moment, making sure that the restaurant business was still low and that no one would hear us (for it was he and the other guy whose name I didn’t catch who were talking the most—Vexorge seemed rather quiet-like).
Then Henry spoke in a whisper, asking if he could trust me.
I wasn’t quite sure what this was really about, so I said, “Uh… Sure…”
The Other Guy Whose Name I Didn’t Catch said that, moments after they were in orbit, something went wrong and they ended-up in the Asteroid Belt (this took quite a while)!
Henry then took-on the conversation, saying that, in the Asteroid Belt, they had found a curiously-shaped Asteroid.
They decided to “Abduct” it and, once they had, they began mining-it (they did this because Vexorge noticed some sort of shiny object inside it).
In the end, it turned-out to be a very well-preserved crystal which emitted a strange, bluish light!
Despite many warnings, Vexorge touched it and the crew, the ship, and even a few asteroids were all surrounded by this light and were teleported through Time and Space.
Since then, they had had marvelous adventures (I will not mention them all, for it would be too long in text) over the course of 20 years until, recently, they had finally made-it back to their own time and in the atmosphere of earth—only about 1 month after they had left (this was convenient, considering that their mission was only supposed to be about a month or two long)!

And so they had retired, and came to live on this island—and now they were talking to me.

I identified this crystal as the Time Crystal, and so I decided to make a Space Ship.

Eventually, I realized that I had been away for several hours and that my friends would soon be wondering what happened to be, so I politely thanked Henry and the others, and then went away.

Once I arrived at the cheap fast-food restaurant, I found the others waiting for me there (they were about to send-out yet another search-party, this time for me).
I explained the situation, and they agreed to help me (even Tom, provided he would be able to finish his dinner, first—even though they originally came here for lunch, though I had evidently been away for so long).

And so, after writing some quick “Blueprints” on a Napkin (I had made one like this before, only at the comfort of my little home), we decided to return to the “Helicopter”.
After making a few adjustments, we were soon off!
We flew up like a helicopter for a bit (being pushed from the tree, first—even though the thing had grown so heavy, now), so as not to disturb any of the islanders, and then, once we were high enough; I activated the Hydrogen Engines and we were off!
Once we were out of orbit, I realized one problem: We were really……………. really…… slow. . `
In such a case, I wasn’t quite so sure how to get to the Asteroid Belt before we all starved.
Luckily, Sam had brought some Bananas—though I knew that we would eventually get sick of them.

After a day or two of wishing that there was such thing as a Light Crystal (actually, I found-out later that there is, but I won’t get into that now), we noticed a meteorite heading straight for us!
I tried maneuvering away but, this was the strange thing—it followed us, as if it were a magnet!
Then I realized something else—it matched exactly the description of the Asteroid In Which The Time Crystal of Cosmos (I have decided to call it that, as it seemed to fit very nicely) Was Incased!
We managed to get-it in the ship but, no sooner had we, than we heard a loud BOOM! and the ship began spinning very rapidly round and round (I only noticed this because I could see the world spinning outside the view-screen, as I had an artificial gravity emitter on board)!

And here I feel I am about to rant so I will all save you time a skip a bit: It turned-out that the BOOM! was from Phasers being shot at us by Vexorge, the “retired” astronaut, who had been following us in another spaceship(I don’t know why we hadn’t noticed him), as he knew that we would lead-him to the Time Crystal and because I had so foolishly explained how I had The Time Crystal of The Reef to him and the other gentlemen (I don’t think they were actually to blame for any of this).

Just as it seemed everything was going to get really really hot (meaning vaporization), who would show up but Andre McCoughingham!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(“!” x 10000000000000000 • 1000000)

He flew-up in his spaceship, disabled Vexorge’s ship (however, I don’t think Vexorge is actually dead), and rescued-us on his own ship (ours was too bad a state for any further flying)!
I asked him how he managed to get a spaceship, let alone with actual guns (especially since he is usually known for being quite “Behind-the-times”).

This is what he said, in his own words (keep in mind that it wasn’t very easy to understand at the time, as he was quite excited and he was talking very fast, with occasional tongue-rolls, if you follow me): “After ye old ship got ye a knocked-down, I hid meself in one of ‘dem grates. After a-floatin’ for quite a’time, I found meself on a strange island. To be a lettin’ ya know where me was, I wrote-down ye little ‘ol note for ye, sayin’ me want ta find thah food, for my stomach was quite a’tremblin’ and a’growlin’, for after eating the good stuff, me met myself a lad named Lad. Now Lad had a’problem with his board, so he brought me to the beach for the a flyin’ to the ship. In the end, [and here he began panting] I found meself seein’ a you all gettin’ da shot-up, so with my fax machine I flew to the ship and blower-net for ye to come… er…”
I was blunt with him: “I have no idea what you just said, but you sure seem excited and, anyway, we were in danger—and now we’re not—so let’s congratulate Andre McCoughingham!”
There was a moments applauding until it got awkward.

So, in short, I am finally in my nice warm bed—showered, teeth brushed, and in a brand new change of clothes—typing this up while Sam snores in the other room.
My Assistant has returned to work, Tom has published a new bestseller regarding his many adventures, and Bob The Waiter (he came with us on the “Helicopter Trip”) has offered his services to me, as well.
As for Andre McCoughingham, he has saved-up enough money (thanks to the generosity of Tom and his Bestselling-book) and gone to his homeland of Scotland.

So yeah, all is well—and so is my Time Machine, which is coming along quite nicely.

-Professor Paul H. Madason

The Escape From The Island

Continued from last entry…

What I saw was very interesting indeed…
A native village, filled with the hustle and bustle of most indian villages you see.
I then realized that they could see us!
They sent for band of canoes, filled with goofy-looking warriors that I found strangely familiar (see previous post Alexandria!)…
I didn’t waste a second—I knew they were hostile, especially since they were waving their spears, glaring, and making strange faces at me—I had Sam ride on my shoulders and told the rest of my company to follow me!
We headed back towards the camp but, the moment we were about halfway there, I noticed that the natives were following us, and were only about a hundred yards or so away!

Eventually, though, we made it to our “Camp”.
I decided that I was going to make another obscure invention for getting off the island.
My Assistant said that we should make a boat, but I said that we should probably build something that can fly, as I didn’t think we could beat the natives on their canoes.

Tom didn’t say anything, because he was in a panic. We still didn’t know where My Assistant’s Uncle was, nor where the Time Crystal was.
But then, just then, My Monkey pointed-out an ingenious plan: he reviewed a few pages of his newly won Physics book to me, then I understood what he was saying, too.
Tom and Travis still had no idea what on earth the Monkey and I were doing, but they soon found-out later that we were building a helicopter.

Once we had finally finished our helicopter (though, it wasn’t really a helicopter, to be precise—for one, it was mostly made out-of local wood, crates, and palm tree leaves; using bananas for fuel, as bananas have a very special composition of vitamins and minerals, that is more unique than any other vegetable or fruit; as Sam pointed-out.)

The Helicopter was placed in a tree—all we had to do to get it running now was to push-it-off and jump back on top of it (I never really was that incredibly athletic, so Sam agreed to do this part).

By the time we were all situated in our makeshift helicopter (Tom and Sir Travis still had absolutely no idea what was going on) the native warriors were close at hand.

Luckily, Sam successfully pushed the “Helicopter” off the tree and jumped back inside.

Just as we were a couple miles out-of sight of the island, we noticed a familiar crate from our ship!
Actually, to be precise, as we went down we discovered that there were actually two crates “shipwrecked” on a nearby island—except this one was civilized (I never did actually find-out which island it was—but I think it was part of the Marshal Islands, or around the same area).

We decided to land and take a closer-look.
Once we landed and were out-of the Helicopter (Tom, who was still a bit out-of-sorts and a bit frightened, decided to stay and “guard it”), I found that one crate was opened and that the other was closed.
I opened the closed one and beheld—The Second Time Crystal!!!!

After I calmed-down a bit, I looked in the other crate.
It turns out, it was completely empty, save for a small note.
I thought that this was probably Andre McCoughingham’s crate, and the note confirmed so.
Turns out, he left on the island to search for food—that much I managed to get out of the note, because, evidently; Andre McCoughingham also writes with a Scottish Accent, if you follow me, and it was a bit hard to interpret—Sir Travis did most of it, as he knew him better and was slightly more accustomed to his handwriting.

In the end, all four of us (including the monkey, that is) set out on the island to look for him—there was a settlement up ahead.

-Professor Paul H. Madason.

The Invasion Of The Yurt

Continued from last entry…

I awoke on my makeshift bed made mainly of grass and palm-leaves.
I then felt extremely itchy and I wondered why.
I then realized that some leaf-cutter-ants and found our beds and that they had started a picnic.

I immediately sprang-up, out of my bed, out of my yurt, and into the morning air.
It was very early—the sun had just come-up.
As I was staring at the horizon and noticed something in the distance.
At first I thought I was hallucinating but, as I fixed my gaze at the mysterious object, I realized that it wasn’t something that had come from my mind.
As it drew closer, I realized that it was a familiar crate from our boat!
Soon, it was on the shore.
I didn’t hesitate to open-it.

It was my research assistant, Sir Travis Fatherely III!

After greeting-him and talking about where each-other had been, I remembered Tom!
Almost immediately after my realization, I heard Tom shouting, “AHH! ANTS!!!”
He ran out of our yurt, followed closely by Sam The Monkey.

After I had brushed-off the ants on Tom and Sam, I gathered my companions and began asking what we should do next—Andre McCoffingham, Sir Travis’ uncle, was still missing.
Sir Travis suggested that we go to a nearby hill and inspect the island—but I told him we had already done that.

Tom suggested that we go look at some banana-trees he spotted toward the other-side of the island while we were on the hill (see the previous post for more information).
Sam enthusiastically agreed.
Travis, who hadn’t eaten for over a day, liked the sound of that.
So we decided to go there.

After our long hike was over we began feasting on bananas.
And, I have to say, I don’t want to even hear the word again!

After our “Banana-feast”, Tom said, “What’s that?”
Tom was pointing to something near the horizon.
It appeared to be a much larger, mainland.
I wondered why we didn’t notice it before while on the hill.

I decided to take a closer-look with some binoculars Travis conveniently carried wherever he went.

What I saw was very interesting indeed…

TO BE CONTINUED…

-‘Professor’ Paul H. Madason

The Island

Continued from last entry…

I lay on the beach—unconscious.
The last thing I remembered was something falling on me—I didn’t (and still don’t) know what it was but, whatever it was, it was large enough, and was going fast enough, to knock me out of my senses.
I awoke to the sun’s bright rays.
I felt very dizzy and my head felt heavy and tingly, like a sleeping foot.

I managed to struggle to my feet and see that there was something coming up from the horizon.
I squinted and saw… Tom—on a crate of scuba gear!

He floated to shore where I greeted him.
I suggested to go to a nearby hill and see how big the island was—or if it was, in fact, an island at all.
But Tom, who wasn’t used to fasting for long periods, wanted to find something to eat.
I eventually won the argument, though, on condition that we would stop somewhere in the jungle to snack on bananas—so I didn’t really quite win.

Anyways, we began our trek and, soon, we were deep in the thick jungle.
We stopped in a small clearing to eat bananas.
After that, we went back into the jungle.
Halfway on journey, a monkey stole my book on advanced physics I was reading.
I tried getting it back but he just wouldn’t let go.
Soon, I gave-up and I continued our journey.
Once we made it up the hill, I realized that this was, indeed, and island—and a quite small one, too—only about 10 miles in diameter.
I looked back to see how far away from shore we were and realized that the monkey had followed me and was reading his book he had won from me.
I wondered where Travis and Andre McCoffingham were—anyhow, I realized that we needed to build some kind of temporary shelter, so as not to get soaked (I already was today)—there appeared to be rain-clouds in the distance and, after-all, this was a rain forest.

So, shortly after we arrived, we descended down hill and went back towards the shore.
There, Tom, Sam (that’s what I named the monkey), and I built a small yurt around a palm tree.

-‘Professor’ Paul H. Madason